One's Work

Given the delay with the Joshua Tree posting, you might be thinking that I’m procrastinating.  You’d only be partially right.

It’s not that I’m procrastinating as a result of being lazy (far from it, I’ve approached the post at least four times), but because of the obstacles my images have thrown at me for the posting.   I was procrastinating because I was stuck.

As I’ve written about before, I am not compelled to look at and work on my images immediately after I make them.  Rather, my nature is to let them sit awhile and then to revisit them over time.  Ann’s quite the opposite and immediately jumps on them.  I’ve tried to get better about it, shortening the time between shooting and working on them, and I’ve been using blog posts to help me do that (in addition to other things).  Usually that helps, but this time . . . 

Let me begin by explaining that the two mornings we photographed at Joshua Tree NP were two of the most wonderful mornings I’ve had in a long time.  To be honest, that meant that we had not gotten out enough during the year we were waiting for the build to happen, but it does not diminish the sheer joy and pleasure of being out and photographing that I felt each day.  I was photographing with intention and excited by what I was seeing on my viewfinder.  That’s what I felt then.

Looking at the images trying to figure out what to include in a post, all I felt was BLEH!  What was I thinking?  It was like that on at least 4 different occasions where I sat down to dig into the images, hoping for some inspiration from them and finding . . . nothing.  

So I started thinking why, and thus this post.

I’ve gone well beyond the notion that the blog post needs my best images.  I realized early on that the key to a blog post is to either tell a story or, like here, to share my thoughts on a topic.  Consequently, it’s images that help me tell the story that take precedence, not the images that I think are my best work from the day.  Those best images will ultimately make it to the photo website.  

However, in writing a story blog, I do start with the images I made, because often one or two really good images help show that, indeed, the day’s efforts were worth it.  

I’ve also written a bit about my own work, themes that have developed, and the significance of making images that I feel come from me and the way I see the world.  At one level, I feel as if I’m quoting the world through photography, but I want to make quotes that aren’t readily apparent to other people or that can truly move them (and me).  Competent, documentary images just aren’t enough.

So when I’ve been looking at my Joshua Tree photographs I pretty much (one exception so far) found nothing that was moving.  Nada.  Zilch.  And that shook me quite a bit, particularly because I truly enjoyed my photography from those mornings and thought I was onto something special.  

Now, one could think that it was all a failure.  If I were to walk away from those images and not think about them, about why they didn’t meet my expectations, and not learn from them, then that would be failure.  So I keep revisiting them, as painful as it is.

I finally recalled that, at least on the first morning, I was intentionally trying to make a type of image I usually do not make.  To work at making images with a particular scale in the landscape instead of doing what I am confident would make for a good image.  That in part is the reason for my disappointment.  I was trying something new and . . . well, am learning.  

Interestingly, looking at Ann’s photographs from the same days has helped me understand what my images are lacking and why they don’t seem so compelling.  Also, they got me looking at my images from the second morning and realizing that those are a bit better than the day before, although still somewhat short.  That’s ok, that’s the process of learning.

I guess it just took me a few days days to get over the fact that the images don’t meet expectations (ok, fell way short).  They almost never do, certainly not a whole day’s worth.  And it’s been quite a while since I’ve felt great about shooting and then stunned by the lack of results.  But that is how it goes, especially when you're trying to push yourself.  It was still a wonderful couple of mornings.

Strange thing is, is that during our stay we explored a bit during the day and I took a bunch of iPhone and point-and-shoot images, and many of them are certainly fine for a story.  It’s likely those that will get used.  And since I’ve figured out what was blocking me, I doubt writing the post will be too difficult.  It just won’t have the images I was hoping it to have.

And the time there wasn’t a total photographic loss.  I did come away with at least one compelling image.

Just don’t ask me what it means - I truly don’t know.